I don’t know what is wrong with me so I don’t know how to fix me.
I don’t know who I am or where I belong in order to find the tribe of people who will completely and unconditionally accept and understand me.
From church organisations, educational institutions to musical or artistic explorations;
From African visitations, family expectations to globetrotting expeditions;
Historical lectures of torturous pasts, stories and tales of glorious kingdoms don’t last;
I still don’t know what is wrong with me, so I can fix me.
Redemption promise, washed in blood,
Why blood, why so much blood?! 😞
Brown, black, beige or orange.
Eniyan dudu, eniyan pupa, kilode?
Oh, Africa, I do not know what is wrong with me, so I can fix me.
Is it my muddied dirty skin?
Is it my tangled bushy thorny hair?
Is it the unholy liason with the fathers who steal my dignity over and over again?
Is it the casting away of her daughters, oh motherland?
Are you so ashamed of me, does my visage disgust you?
I do not know what is wrong with me so I can fix me;
Is it because I pray in a foreign tongue?
Are the gods angered that I turn my back on them?
Does the god of Iron despise the god of Abraham?
Are they at war with each other?
Oh, Abba Father, how will the truth be revealed?
Oh, what is wrong with me, so I can fix me?
Don’t know who I am, what I am! Church tells me I am a child of God, a holy priesthood and such lofty ideals;
Yet still like a stranger, imposter I feel in the midst of the congregation.
Oh why, oh why, oh, be at peace for now oh troubled soul.
I do not know what is wrong with me, so I can fix me!
© Lara Rose 2016
Written as part of my end of term assignment APD Leeds Beckett university.
In the film Hugo, the young orphan boy saw the whole world as a machine. His understanding was all the parts in a machine played a role and so he believed he was here to play a role too! He wondered because he knew how to fix broken machines, if he could fix broken people too! 😊
I may not know what my specific purpose is but I believe I’m here to play a part in my life, city, nation, earth, universe, multiverse!! © Lara Rose ’16
A New Earth, a new love, a new month, a new flow of words, a universal purpose to love and be loved… © Lara Rose 2016
… so I read someplace, if you’re tired, rest, take a break, time out!! So not to quit but rest. So just do it, rest!!! 😊
…colour me with words, speechless to say, tis rainbow speak thou for me…
© Lara Rose 2016