I don’t know what is wrong with me so I don’t know how to fix me.
I don’t know who I am or where I belong in order to find the tribe of people who will completely and unconditionally accept and understand me.
From church organisations, educational institutions to musical or artistic explorations;
From African visitations, family expectations to globetrotting expeditions;
Historical lectures of torturous pasts, stories and tales of glorious kingdoms don’t last;
I still don’t know what is wrong with me, so I can fix me.
Redemption promise, washed in blood,
Why blood, why so much blood?! 😞
Brown, black, beige or orange.
Eniyan dudu, eniyan pupa, kilode?
Oh, Africa, I do not know what is wrong with me, so I can fix me.
Is it my muddied dirty skin?
Is it my tangled bushy thorny hair?
Is it the unholy liason with the fathers who steal my dignity over and over again?
Is it the casting away of her daughters, oh motherland?
Are you so ashamed of me, does my visage disgust you?
I do not know what is wrong with me so I can fix me;
Is it because I pray in a foreign tongue?
Are the gods angered that I turn my back on them?
Does the god of Iron despise the god of Abraham?
Are they at war with each other?
Oh, Abba Father, how will the truth be revealed?
Oh, what is wrong with me, so I can fix me?
Don’t know who I am, what I am! Church tells me I am a child of God, a holy priesthood and such lofty ideals;
Yet still like a stranger, imposter I feel in the midst of the congregation.
Oh why, oh why, oh, be at peace for now oh troubled soul.
I do not know what is wrong with me, so I can fix me!
© Lara Rose 2016
Written as part of my end of term assignment APD Leeds Beckett university.
Following on from yesterday, I’d like to propose our “UNIVERSAL PURPOSE” is LOVE! ❤ 🌈 💐 💕
I believe we ought to keep going even if we may not necessarily have a clear destination!
Just like we don’t stop breathing just because we’re having an “off” day or a day of quiet reflection likewise we keep on going or moving!!
It keeps momentum and as you keep going even if it’s for the sake of it, clarity comes!!
The “aha” moment!
Then we set sail, full throttle towards a specific defined direction to an ultimate goal or arrival point.
Then we realise that the seemingly purposeless or “wondering round the wilderness” phase builds character!!
So keep moving, keep going, keep reaching, keep breathing!!
Live. Love. Shine.
© Lara Rose 23/03/16